Leopard Men of the Hungry Jungle

[coinilius]

Ok, I've been tossing this story back and forth for ages now, never really getting anywhere with it even though it is basically all plotted out (in rough storyboard form). I even posted a very brief snippet of it earlier (in a different format).

Anyway, long story short - I've re-started it now in a sort of very informal half-script format, to see if that will be easier to finally realise.

EDIT: A tentative name for the story, although I'm not exactly thrilled with it... just having a real problem coming up with something that really grabs me. Ah well, this will do for now.

[coinilius]

Starting on a shot of the Sagar Tree, the camera pans across it into the surrounding forest.

Ka-Rack!

Wielding a homemade baseball bat, Klone strikes an equally homemade baseball. It’s a good hit, the ball sailing high into the sky to the cheers and whistles of Blackstar and Poulo. Blackstar, Klone and the Trobbits are playing a makeshift game of baseball in a forest clearing.

Blackstar: Nice hit Klone!

Poulo (whistles loudly)

As the ball arcs into the air, the Trobbits Riff and Terra come running towards it, baseball gloves waving in the air.

Riff: I’ve got it! I’ve got it!

Terra: I’ve got it! I’ve got it!

So fixated are they on trying to catch the ball, neither Trobbit realises that they are on a collision course. The outcome is a predictable…

Crash!

Little stubby Trobbit limbs go everywhere as Riff and Terra run headlong into each other.

Riff and Terra (grunts)

From the sidelines, Blackstar and Poulo wince in sympathy.

Poulo (whistles sadly)

Oblivious to all the action on the ground, the ball has continued to sail through the air, dropping almost nonchalantly into the waiting glove of Gossamer.

Gossamer: I’ve got it.

Meanwhile, Klone has been making good of the confusion and is heading towards home plate, where Balkar (dressed as an umpire) is waiting. Carpo is standing to the side, gesticulating with enthusiasm.

Carpo: Come on Gossamer tag him! You can do it!

Klone: I guess I better…

As Klone runs his shape begins to turn white and shift. Without breaking stride he changes form from a humanoid to a rabbit-toad. As Gossamer swoops down on him with the ball outstretched, Klone leaps casually over the top of him.

Klone: …hop to it then!

Klone lands smugly on home plate. Balkar signals that he is safe.

Balkar: Safe!

Klone (back in humanoid form) walks over to Blackstar with a wry smile on his face.

Klone: This game sure is easy when you can turn yourself into a rabbit-toad.

Blackstar (laughing): I don’t think they had shape shifters in mind when they invented baseball!

They both share a laugh but are interrupted by a gruff looking Balkar (does he have any other looks?).

Balkar: That’s enough chatter you two, we have a game to play! Humph.

Balkar: Batter up!

Blackstar steps up to the plate, looking far more natural at the game than the others do (naturally enough).

Blackstar: Come on Burble; hit me with your best shot!

Burble, the pitcher, draws his arm back in a very exaggerated manner as he prepares to wind up for what is supposed to look like a very powerful throw.

Burble: Uh, you asked for it Blackstar.

He starts spinning his arm around in ridiculously over the top cartoon circles as he winds up for the toss.

Burble: I call this one my famous Sagar Striker!

While his arm is spinning faster and faster he doesn’t realise that the ball has slipped from his fingers early and gone flying up into the air above him. Finally he goes to throw the ball at Blackstar, but there is… nothing.

Burble: Hey? Where’d the ball go?

The ball is flying up, up… and then down, down. Burble looks at his hands in confusion, when suddenly the ball hits comically on the head.

Thonk!

Burble (grunts)

Burble falls to the ground with a thud, his legs going up in the air. Klone walks up to Blackstar, a look of concern on his face.

Klone: Is the game always played like this?

Blackstar: Somehow I don’t think they had Trobbits in mind when they invented baseball either!

Meanwhile the ball has bounced away into the bushes. Terra, standing near Riff, points at it.

Terra: Someone’s going to have to go and get the ball.

Riff: Well don’t look at me. I’m still sore from chasing after it the last time!

Giving a little whistle, Poulo rushes off into the surrounding forest to look for the ball. Balkar, glaring at Riff, crosses his arms in a disapproving manner.

Riff: What? Well it’s the truth!

In the forest, Poulo is looking around for the ball. He spies it resting near the roots of a tree and reaches down to pick it up.

Poulo (whistles triumphantly)

As he is grabbing the ball a leg and clawed hand appears in front of him. Poulo looks up from the ball, shock plastered all over his face.

Poulo (whistles in terror)

Three Leopard Men emerge from the forest, the one in front reaching menacingly forward to grab at the terrified Trobbit…

[coinilius]

So there you have the teaser/intro - it's a pretty standard 'my what a beautiful day' opening, the type that I actually think was overused on the show itself. The baseball game seemed like a nice excuse for some Whacky Trobbit Antics (TM) - however, being Australian, my knowledge of baseball isn't really the best, but oh well

There's a lot of sight gags and slapstick style prat falls in this section, which makes it a little dry to read through given the format I've presented it in - like I mentioned earlier, I concieved this story visually first, in the form of rough storyboards, as if it was an actual episode of the show. I even tried to work in the usual Filmation stock footage usage as well (not so much in this part, although the Rabbit-Toad sequence was designed with this in mind).

[Whitedwarf]

Wow, Coinilius, this is a welcomed entry in the Fan Fiction section. Zim is already doing miracles, and now I'm glad there's you too!

[coinilius]

Hey thanks - it's not on the same level as Zimraphael's work lol but I'm aiming for a Filmation style vibe from it, bad jokes and all

I've got a number of Blackstar fan-fictions that I've been tossing around, just never get around to developing them as actual stories...

[coinilius]

Three Leopard Men emerge from the forest, the one in front reaching menacingly forward to grab at the terrified Trobbit…

Poulo, whistling shrilly, ducks under the lead Leopard Man’s hands. He tries to make a run for it but, under the direction of Tongo (the leader of the Leopard Men) another one grabs him by the collar and lifts him, kicking, off the ground.

Tongo: I’m afraid you’re not getting away that easily, little Trobbit.

Back in the clearing, Blackstar is standing near Carpo, examining one of the baseball bats the Trobbit carpenter has made. Carpo is holding a piece of wood in his hands.

Blackstar: These baseball bats you made for us are spot on, Carpo.

Carpo: What can I say...?

Carpo sets about gnawing into the wood in a cartoon manner, with an exaggerated buzzing sound effect accompanying it, as if he was using a bandsaw rather than just his oversized front molars. When he is finished he proudly holds up another baseball bat.

Carpo: I have an eye for detail.

Blackstar: More like a tooth for detail!

Blackstar and Carpo start laughing like idiots, in that typical Filmation style. Balkar, still standing by Riff, is less impressed by the joke. Instead, he is getting worried by how long it is taking Poulo to fetch that lost ball.

Balkar: Humph! I wonder what’s taking Poulo so long to fetch that ball.

Riff: Knowing Poulo he’s probably gotten himself into some kind of mischief.

Cue scene change to Poulo, who is still being held by the Leopard Man, who has one hand clamped firmly over the struggling Trobbits mouth. Tongo is watching them, most displeased.

Tongo (hissing/whispering): Keep that Trobbit still!

Leopard Man: I am trying, Lord Tongo, but he is a slippery little creature...

Poulo manages to wiggle his mouth free and bites the hand of the Leopard Man holding him.

Leopard man (howls in pain)

The Leopard Man loses his grip on Poulo completely, who jumps to the ground and starts running away, whistling frantically. Tongo gesticulates wildly in Poulo’s direction.

Tongo: You fool! Stop him before he gets away!

Hearing the commotion coming from the forest, Balkar and Riff turn around to see Poulo burst from the bushes, followed by an angry looking Leopard Man.

Balkar: Poulo!

Riff: Leopard man!

The Leopard Man throws a spear towards Poulo as he runs frantically towards Blackstar. He runs behind Blackstar’s legs just as the spear thuds into the ground in front of the human hero. Blackstar narrows his eyes at the attacking Leopard Man.

Blackstar: You know, I don’t really like it when people throw spears at my friends!

Tongo and the rest of his pack of Leopard Men have emerged from the forest around the Trobbits, Klone and Blackstar, their element of surprise lost.

Tongo: Spread out, capture the Trobbits and the shape-shifter. The honour of fighting Blackstar belongs to me!

Balkar: Trobbits! Scatter!

The Trobbits all go running off in the usual flurry of stock animation. A Leopard Man throws a weighted net at them, which falls over Carpo, Riff and Burble.

Burble: Oh no, they’ve got us!

The Leopard man lifts the net up, with the Trobbits trapped inside it, so that he can admire his catch.

Leopard Man: Such small prey, but the Overlord will reward us handsomely for bringing you to him!

Carpo: We’re not caught that easily...

Using his teeth, Carpo gnaws through the net. It rips open, dumping its contents of Trobbits onto the ground where they quickly scatter once more, much to the Leopard Mans annoyance.

Leopard Man: Infernal Trobbits!

Meanwhile, two Leopard Men have cornered Klone, their spears pointed at him. Klone simply looks bemused.

Leopard man 1: We have you outnumbered, shape-shifter!

Klone: You seem pretty confident, but let’s see how confident you are...

Before the startled Leopard men, Klone transforms into a massive Rhino-Bear.

Klone: ...When you’re up against a Rhino-Bear!

Rhino-Bear Klone slashes at the Leopard Men’s spears, snapping them in half. Realising they are outclassed, the Leopard Men turn tail and run away. Satisfied, Klone transforms back into his human form.

Leopard Man 2: Run!

Klone: Ha hah ha!

While this is going on, Tongo has attacked Blackstar with his mace weapon. He raises it up high, hissing, and brings it down hard in an attempt to smash Blackstar’s head in, but Blackstar blocks it with his baseball bat (he is holding it before him with two hands, at either end of the bat)

Blackstar: This ambush of yours isn’t very sportsman like, fuzz-face! I think I’m going to have to call a...

Blackstar pushes forward with the bat, knocking the mace out of Tongo’s hands and Tongo onto his rear in defeat.

Blackstar: Time-out!

Tongo gets up from the ground, pointing back towards the forest they had come from.

Tongo: Leopard Men, retreat! Retreat!

Blackstar watches as the Leopard Men all start running away.

Blackstar: It looks like our furry friends don’t want to play anymore...

Tongo stops in the process of running away. He turns back to Blackstar, a small dart shooting cross-bow visible on his wrist gauntlet.

Tongo (hissing)

Klone realises what is happening.

Klone: Blackstar, look out!

Tongo fires the dart. Klone leaps in front of Blackstar, once again transforming into a Rhino-Bear as he does so. The dart hits him in the chest.

Klone: Ugh...

Klone transforms back into his human form, looking exhausted. Blackstar uses the Starsword to fire an energy blast at Tongo. It hits the crossbow on his gauntlet.

Blackstar: You coward!

Tongo (grunts).

Blackstar: Klone? Are you alright?

Klone: Thank you for the concern... old friend... but I will be alright. I just feel... a little light headed...

Klone, his hand to his forehead, collapses backwards. Blackstar catches him.

Klone: Ugh!

Blackstar: Klone!

Gossamer is flying in the sky above them, pointing.

Gossamer: The Leopard Men are all running away!

The Trobbits gather around Blackstar, who is gently lowering Klone’s unconscious body to the ground.

Burble: But... what did they do to Klone?

[coinilius]

Finally, an update to this story Anyway, some notes on this part...

The Rhino-Bear that Klone transforms into is ment to be the same thing that the clone of Klone turned into in the end of Tree of Evil... I'm not commited to the name Rhino-Bear, it just seemed to have the usual non-origonality that most Sagarese animals seem to have.

Unless that was what it was actually called in the episode? I've had Rhino-Bear in my notes for so long I don't actually remember if I just made it up or if there was actually precedence for it. I should probably check that later...

[coinilius]

We reopen on another establishing shot of the Sagar Tree. The camera then shifts to a pan up through the Sagar Tree, showing details of the various balconies and staircase that litter its branches. It then closes in on a particular window amongst the leaves. Inside, the very worried looking Trobbits are standing vigil around a human sized bed, whose current occupant is the still unconscious Klone.

Blackstar: Is there anything that you can do for him, Balkar?

Blackstar is standing next to Balkar, who is looking through a very large, very old book.

Balkar: I can’t say yet, Blackstar. There’s just so little we actually know about Klone and his people...

Terra walks up to Balkar carrying a basket full of strange looking berries.

Terra: Here’s those Healing Berries you asked for Balkar, I just hope they can be of some use.

Balkar: Yes, thank you, Terra - just put them on the bench.

As Terra goes to put the basket away, Balkar turns to another part of his desk where a collection of very esoteric looking laboratory equipment is sitting. From amongst this pile he produces a pair of oversized tweezers which he uses to lift up a thorn-like object from where it was sitting under a large magnifying glass. So thorn-like in fact that it is a thorn – the dart which Klone had been shot with.
Balkar: If only I could identify the plant which this thorn comes from, maybe I could start working on an antidote to what is poising Klone...

From the other side of the bench, Terra looks over at the thorn with recognition.

Terra: Oh, that’s easy!

Balkar turns to look at Terra, shocked.

Balkar: You know what this is, Terra?

Terra: Oh my, yes! It’s a thorn from the Janus Flower. Nasty looking things, but then as I always say, you should never judge a plant by its petals...

Blackstar looks urgently at the gardener.

Blackstar: Never mind that, Terra... Do you know where we can find these flowers?

Balkar: Yes, if we’re to help Klone then I need one those plants!

Terra scratches his head.

Terra: Hmmm, let me see... it’s been awhile...

Balkar: Quickly!

Awareness dawns visibly on Terra’s face.

Terra: Oh yes, that’s right! They only grow deep within the Carnivorous Jungle! Getting to them can be very difficult...

Blackstar: It doesn’t matter if they only grow in the Overlord’s back garden... Nothing’s going to stop me from bringing one back here!

Balkar claps a hand on Terra’s shoulder.

Balkar: Terra, do you think you can lead Blackstar to where these Janus Flowers grow?

Terra: I don’t see why not... the key to finding any plant is in knowing the right growing conditions to look for and...

Balkar: Yes, yes, you can tell Blackstar all about it on the way.

Balkar turns to Carpo and Riff.

Balkar: Carpo, Riff! You two go along as well to help Blackstar and Terra.

Riff double takes so severely that he almost loses his hat.

Riff: What?! No way, I’m not going anywhere that has carnivorous in the title!

Riff crosses his arms over his chest in a huff.

Riff: I cook the meals; I don’t want to end up as a meal!

Balkar rounds on Riff, pointing a finger at him.

Balkar: This is no time for arguments, Riff! Klone needs our help!

Riff’s expression softens as Balkar’s words sink in.

Riff: Alright, I’ll do it... for Klone.

Blackstar leans reassuringly in towards Klone.

Blackstar: Hang in there buddy, we’ll be back with a cure for you soon.

[coinilius]

Another part ;D

As you've probably already guessed, this story is shaping up to be a lot like The Quest but with the locations changed... it's a bit dissapointing that my first Blackstar fan fiction is a bit on the derivative side, but I do plan on throwing at least a couple of interesting tweaks into the story.

In fact, I've already brought the first one is - Terra actually gets to play an active role in the story and get a bit of the limelight, something he sorely lacked on the show. Showcasing Terra was actually a big part of the inspiration for this story, hence the inclusion of the Carnivorous Jungle as a setting.

The Carnivorous Jungle, incidently, was inspired by the novel of the Neverending Story, which featured a similar carnivorous jungle. Another shout out are the thorns of the Janus Flower - the Doctor's savage companion Leela used Janus Thorns a couple of times during her stint on Doctor Who.

Also obvious is that while constructing this scene I drew heavily from episodes of Blackstar, particularly the Quest and the Overlord's Big Spell, again trying to keep the production costs low by reusing as much animation as possible

[coinilius]

Blackstar is riding Warlock while the Trobbits, Riff, Carpo and Terra, ride in the Trobbit Wind Machine. From the Wind Machine, Terra points at a dense, alien looking jungle spread out across the landscape before them.

Terra: There it is! The Carnivorous Jungle!

Blackstar flies up alongside the Wind Machine so that he can talk to the Trobbits.

Blackstar: The jungle’s too thick; we won’t be able to find anything from the air. We’ll have to put down in that clearing over there and go on by foot.

The Wind Machine and Warlock set down in the aforementioned jungle clearing.

Blackstar: Carpo, take Warlock and the Wind Machine and circle overhead. If we need you, we’ll send up a signal.

Carpo: Aye, Aye, Blackstar.

Riff: So this is the Carnivorous Jungle, huh. Doesn’t look like a very pleasant place.

The Carnivorous Jungle stretches out before them; Riff is right, it doesn’t look very pleasant. The plants are thick, hot and heavy, with a very alien look about them.

Terra: Oh my, it’s definitely not pleasant! Everything here is carnivorous, er, hence the name. The animals, even the plants...

Suddenly, a sort of Lizard-Rat bursts from the dense undergrowth, running for its life from a couple of Hyena like creatures (the same type of creatures from the episode The Lord of Time).

Blackstar: How about you two fang-faces go chase something your own size.

Blackstar fires a blast of energy from his Starsword, which hits the ground in front of the Hyena creatures, causing them to skitter to a stop and go running away, their tails between their legs.

Riff kneels down in front of the Lizard-Rat, which is sitting up on its hind legs looking cute and innocent. So cute and innocent that even the normally gruff Riff can think no ill of it.

Riff: There you go little feller, you’re safe now...

CHOMP!

The Lizard-Rat takes a bite out of Riff’s finger. He stands up, his finger throbbing, as the Lizard-Rat scampers back into the bush.

Riff: Yow! That little rat bit me!

Terra: I told you, everything here is carnivorous... and hungry!

Blackstar: We’d better stick together and watch our step...

They start walking through the jungle. As they do, there is a close up on Blackstar’s feet as he steps over a vine.

Blackstar: After all, we don’t want any more nasty surprises.

The previously innocent looking vine starts to twitch, then rise up off the ground, reaching towards the departing heroes...

[coinilius]

I've actually done some design sketches for the Lizard-Rat... it's more of a sort-of Bilby looking thing, though with short ears and, well, lizard scales.

While working on this, I've actually come up with another fan fic with a prominent role for Terra - he's a pretty fun character to work with, and one that was woefully underutilised on the actual show, which was what inspired me to give him something to do in this story.

Oh yeah, and it's not untitled anymore either. It's perhaps not the best title, but at least it's something.

[coinilius]

Back at the Sagar Tree, Balkar and Burble are sitting at a table inside one of the many rooms built into the branches of the tree. On the table between them is a large crystal ball, which they are both touching the base of.

Balkar: This is a very simple communication spell, Burble, so pay attention.

The crystal ball starts to glow.

Balkar: We just have to focus our thoughts on Mara and we can send her a message.

A picture of Mara’s face begins to appear within the crystal ball.

Burble: Hey looks, its working!

Balkar: Concentrate, Burble! We can’t afford any distractions...

As if on cue, Gossamer flies into the room, obviously agitated.

Gossamer: Balkar! Balkar, come quickly!

Balkar and Burble look around at the intrusion, causing them to lose their concentration on the magic spell. The crystal ball flashes and the picture of Mara disappears.

Balkar: Gossamer, what is it?

Gossamer: It’s Klone! Something’s happening with him!

Gossamer flies out of the room, with Balkar and Burble following him.

Gossamer: Quick, quick!

Without gigantic ears that double for wings, Balkar and Burble have to navigate the Sagar Tree the old fashioned way, sliding down ladders and running across walkways.

Balkar: Humph! We’re coming as fast as we can!

Gossamer flies through the door to the room Klone is in, followed by Balkar and Burble.

Balkar: What is going on in...?

A chair goes flying towards the newly arrived Trobbits, who quickly duck as it sails overhead and out the door.

Burble: Oh my!

Klone is out of bed and once again in the form of a Rhino-Bear! He is roaring and rearing up, while a terrified looking Poulo cowers behind an overturned table.

Balkar: Klone! You knock that off this instant and get back into bed!

Balkar points a stern finger at the raging shape-shifter, who turns towards the king of the Trobbits and lets out another roar. He doesn’t sound too pleased to be told what to do.

Balkar: Er... please?

Klone rears up with his fists raised above the two Trobbits, who now cling to each other in fear. Or at least, Burble clings to Balkar. Enraged, the shape-shifter then brings them crashing down to smash the Trobbits into oblivion... at least, he would have had they not been surrounded by a white energy and yanked away by it at the last second.

The two Trobbits look at each other in shock and relief that they are alive, then over to the corner of the room where Mara now stands revealed. One hand is on her hip and a smile is spread across her face.

Mara: It looks like I got your message just in time, Balkar.

Balkar and Burble look at her, very, very relieved for the timely arrival.

Balkar: It’s Mara the sorceress!

Trobbit cheering is heard.

Not to be forgotten, Klone roars again, but Mara creates a wall of energy in front of him.

Mara: Should I even ask what a Rhino-Bear is doing in the Sagar Tree?

There is a crash as Klone smashes against the barrier or something unseen in the background.

Mara: Besides redecorating, that is?

Balkar: That’s not just a Rhino-Beast, Mara, that’s Klone! He’s been poisoned by thorn of the Janus Flower...

Inside his new energy prison, Klone roars again. While he does so, his body starts to glow white and change into another fearsome animal shape. It is probably something reptilian.

Balkar: In his fevered state, his body must be trying to fight the poison the only way it knows how... by taking on stronger forms!

Gossamer and Poulo come over to join the others.

Gossamer: But that’s a good thing, isn’t it? It might give him a fighting chance against the poison.

Balkar: Or all that shape-shifting will just end up weakening him more. We have to get him back into bed so that he can rest...

Mara: Leave that to me, Balkar.

Mara walks up to Klone, who rears up behind the energy wall. Mara places her hands to her temples and closes her eyes, while white circles of telepathic energy begin to emanate from her forehead.

Mara (with an echo): Klone, listen to my voice. It is I, Mara, your friend.

The same white circles begin to appear around Klone’s head as well. He is angry and hissing, but slowly starts to calm down as Mara talks to him.

Mara (with an echo): You must sleep, Klone. Sleep so that you may preserve your strength. Sleep. Sleep.

Klone’s eyes close and he begins to collapse, changing back into his human form as he does so. Before he can hit the ground, Mara catches him with her telekinetic powers and levitates his prone form before her.

Mara: There. He will sleep peacefully now, though I am afraid that is all I can do for him.

Balkar puts a hand on Mara’s reassuringly.

Balkar: Thank you, Mara. I just hope Blackstar and the others are having less trouble finding that plant...

[coinilius]

Burble helping Balkar with his spells is an idea that I got from the episode The Overlord's Big Spell, where Balkar is showing Burble how to levitate a pear in the opening. I like the idea that Balkar is grooming Burble in the use of magic.

If anyone is reading this, I made a sneaky change in an earlier chapter where I said that the Janus plants grew in caves deep within the Carnivourous Jungle... they no longer grow in caves, as I've done some further tinkering with the structure of this story.

[metaldragon]

I hope you'll be inspired to finish this story sometime. I read it again recently and it's a lot of fun. I love how you've written Terra and I'm eager to find out how it ends!

[coinilius]

Hey metaldragon, glad to hear you enjoyed what little I did of this story! This was a story that just kept going through changes as I was developing it, but I have all the major plot ideas set-up for how I wanted it to play out...

Funny you should mention being inspired to finish it, because I did actually give it some more thought just recently! I think, though, that it might end up with an enemy change at the start - from Tongo and the Leopard Men to Meuton and some more Wasp Men! The reason for the change is because I think it would loop back into the ending a bit better than the Leopard Men would...

Also really glad that you liked Terra in this story! I think Terra is a great Trobbit and I wanted to give him a major role! I have at least two other story ideas which include Terra in major roles as well lol